You make me cry very often these days you make me question myself and you make me wonder if I'm really really really stupid and I don't want to ask YOU a single thing about it I don't i don't i don't. I don't want to talk to you because you don't want to talk to me. I don't know what to do with myself because i don't know. I can't go swimming because I don't know how to hide this ugly fucking thing on my thigh and I want you and only you to see it. I am very very very mad at you. I am no better than a little girl because I'm not doing shit about how mad you're making me and I'm not telling you and I don't even know what i even talk to you about. You know (I even tell you) I'm lonely. I know/infer you're busy. I don't know with what, certainly not me. It doesn't have to be me but I would like to feel somewhat involved in your life. I feel ashamed of myself for letting you make me feel this way. I don't know why I let it happen.I don't understand how you don't understand. Do you pretend not to? Do you actually not understand? Do you not notice any difference in my moods at all? I don't think I'm asking you to read my mind. I think you have the capacity to understand. I should be distancing myself but I don't even know what else to do, I don't want to do it. I feel like I'm going through withdrawal.