I am being silenced by small talk from all directions!!!! I know one way to cure my forever boredom but unfortunately I'd have 2 let go of my "ego" . my plan was to find people better than me and accept that they r better than me and like ask them how. well not directly.. im talking like actually being taught things n not pretending i knew alll about it. and choosing a good "teacher" no matter how much the skill difference between us pisses me off. but like i have to stop feeling this way like so uncurious soo dismissive pretending what i have is the only reality in the world and it is mediocre making me think everything is mediocre . Today i saw a gorgeous woman and did not feel bitter and jealous so I'm thinking that is a start.? But my godddd a lot of things in this world ARE boring and im not just pretending like.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well whatever. I think i should go Out w people more often ...