Everything u give me is a subtle demand for me to reciprocate but u think it is out of the kindness of ur heart and no1 will ever tell u otherwise



staying the night at my grandmother's because its crazy hot n we don't have AC n they do. I feel very ugly. I feel unsafe away from home (same damn apartment building) funny because what home, until when. unsafe as if home has superpowers. I want to swim tomorrow. i don't like being here because it feels like i don't have anywhere else to go. I don't like sleeping at all that's a lie i do like sleeping but god i feel terrified of something happening and I'd be asleep and I couldn't respond fast to whatever's happening I don't like to sleep when everyone else is sleeping too. often ive been imagining swimming in a pool, and the ground under the pool splits in two and you try to get out of the pool as fast as you can. that's not supposed to be like a metaphor or anything I just think about it whenever i am in a pool. i like to also float and look at the buildings around me almost forming a pentagon and picturing them growing taller and growing branches and tangling their branches together. and the branches would look like fire escape stairs ?