I don't want to have to care about anyone or anything that doesn't mean i don't want to care i just hate the idea of having to care being asked to care God something about being asked to care makes me nauseous I'm sorry for being heartless and whatever the fuck it's just ugggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why would you want someone to care if you need to like beg that person to care likee i would not do that. I act like everything i do is soo perfect shitting on people like that lollll. I think I envy like dedicated attention seekers. like even if they don't get the attention they have the belief that they deserve attention. Why and how can anyone believe they deserve attention. LOL. That thought pattern makes no sense. What would happen if no one paid attention to anyone. I want to pay attention to people but i do have the belief that some people dont deserve at least my attention. see that does make sense. because i don't "owe" EWwwww..my attention to anyone. seeee that's what i hate. when people act entitled to my care and attention. because i don't KNOW how to act that way. Maybe i shouldn't maybe i should maybe theyre doing it right who knows. there is a beauty to weakness but the annoyance it brings clouds my eyes . Do you know about how people tell you all your life that you're too quiet and at some point you try not to be that way and you aren't even shy or quiet or anything anymore people are just used to not hearing you ? Do you think it's because you're too late , you should have spoken earlier? Or maybe you weren't even quiet like , ever and that was just your explanation to not being heard. I don't know that second possibility sounds too like oh boooo i was suchhhh a small sad kidddd look at meeee. The world is in a weak and stupid epidemic , everyone is weak and stupid, other than me of course